Friday, December 18, 2009

Middle of the two week wait

There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my head everyday... I can only imagine how it must be for the IP's. One minute I feel so good and confident that this is going to work and then the next minute I'm scared and worried that it might not. It's so hard b/c we saw them in there and if it doesn't work than we would have lost them. I didn't realize how real seeing the transfer would make things feel. At the same time I am so grateful that it does feel this way. Even if it doesn't work the IP's were parents to these precious little embryo's and even if we don't get to meet them they were/are loved.

I had to give my mom the (twenty) pregnancy tests that I had bought online ($0.89 a piece) so that I wouldn't take them. My will power is not strong enough to resist seeing them sitting there and wanting to know sooo bad. I know the waiting will be all worth it when we find out Christmas morning. It will be weird waiting for that test to change. I just remember what it was like when my husband and I were trying to get pregnant. We took the test and while we were waiting we really didn't know if we could be... we were hoping, but what if we didn't get the dates right or what if I didn't ovulate that month or if I was late... there are so many unknowns whereas this way you know that yes IM "ovulated" (in a sense) on this day, fertilization happened this day and the transfer was a success. All we are waiting for now is to see if the implantation and continued growth of the babies was successful. We've been through so many steps so far it feels much more of a possibility. I hope I hope I hope!!!

I am really frustrating myself. Every twinge or cramp I feel I have to stop and think about what it could be. I read that some people get crampy when the embryo implants. I was nauseous the other day and I got so excited until I looked online and even for twins it was too early to feel symptoms. Darn... I was just needing water. Then I jaunted down the hallway and felt a little contraction type motion in what felt like my uterus. Or if I cough or giggle I feel it... it's almost like it's tender, but not painful just kind of irritable. It has kind of been like that ever since the transfer so it's most likely from that. I'm trying not to think about it, but my senses are hyper vigilant right now. I am also taking higher than average amounts of iron, to ward of any signs of anemia that tends to come my way when I'm pregnant, so it is highly likely that that's why my digestive track has taken a hit and is now trying to work it's way back to normal. Basically I just need to chill out, try and not think about it and go on with life as usual... easier said than done, but I've got to try.

I will post the outcome of the pregnancy test we will be taking on Christmas day as soon as the IP's give me the go ahead. I will let them tell their family first of course. They may even want to wait until after our 2nd blood test results arrive on Jan 2nd. before we go public with the info. If it's positive we will be walking on egg shells until we see those beating hearts on the first ultrasound.

Oh yeah... If we are in fact pregnant we are technically 3 weeks and 2 days now!!! The counting starts two weeks before the conception date... some weird pregnancy loophole, but I'll take it!


  1. Hey I'm here with you, we're in this 2 week wait together. I'm just 3 days in though. LOL.

    Nuts eh? I got a few pregnancy tests but we've decided to wait till after Christmas, just in case it's not good news, it won't ruin the holidays.

    Good luck...this time just ticks by eh? Thank God we do have xmas prep to distract us.

  2. Yes I don't know what would have kept our minds occupied without Christmas. I am finding it harder and harder to relax and not think about it as it gets closer. Anxiety is starting to set in!! Man I hope it works!!! For both of us!!! Are you really not going to test until after Christmas?? Do you think you'll be able to hold off? ;)