Monday, December 28, 2009

A small update...but not the news you've been waiting for.

Hey everyone. I just wanted to update you on what's going on as far as results coming in :) I have had e-mails and facebook messages just pouring in asking if we have any good news to share. Well... unfortunately I can't spill the beans yet. I did want to let everyone know that tomorrow I have the results from my first blood test coming in. We are really hoping and praying that the results test positive for pregnancy and show high levels of HCG. If the levels are much higher than normal that will also give us a little heads up on the possibilty of it being twins. It's not an exact science though so we won't know for sure until there is an ultrasound. If this blood test is positive for pregnancy they will test again on Dec. 31st and we will get the results in on Jan. 2nd.

Sorry to leave ya hanging :) Enjoy your New Years!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009


I have already shared all this with IP's and since this blog is meant as a way for people to share in this process and understand how it works and feels I thought it would be a good idea to add this in here. I pray I am not getting everyone's hopes up for nothing.

I am discovering there is a fine line between pretty sure and hoping. I feel pretty sure about things, but I am also really hoping that I am right... if that makes any sense at all. As most of you know I have been pregnant twice before with my daughters. The pregnancy's were SOO completely different from one another I wouldn't have even thought it was possible. I blew every old wives tale out of the water. The one similarity between the two (aside from both being girls and the exact same weight; 7'1) is that I was farely certain I was pregnant before I got a positive on the test. With my first pregnancy I kept saying I "feel" pregnant even with a false negative on the first test, I just knew. Many women who have been pregnant before can probably attest to this. Basically I'm saying this b/c I think that this means I know my body pretty well. I'm farely consistent so I notice changes pretty quickly.

Two days ago I started to notice these symptoms:
1)Bloated Belly - This may sound weird, but honestly after I eat I look like I've got a 4 month baby belly. It slowly goes down as my food digests. The only time I remember feeling like this was in my early weeks of pregnancy with my daughters. My pants stopped fitting properly very early and I had to use the ol rubber band around the pant loop trick.
2)Sleepiness - I haven't been sleeping well for about a month or more and I really haven't felt tired at all during the day until about Friday. I was laying on the couch thinking man I could use a nap and then it dawned on me. I haven't felt like this type of sleepy since I was pregnant with Briea (my youngest). I was a stay at home mom at the time and I am NOT a napper (EVER), but in my first trimester I napped everyday. It's a different type of tired too... I can't explain it...
3)Insane sense of smell - I normally have a really good sense of smell, but in my first pregnancy my sense of smell was obnoxiously good. If my husband cooked with onions (yes he cooked b/c the smell of meat made me sick) I could smell them in my house for the next two weeks. It was yesterday that I started noticing my sense of smell. We walked into a Wok Box and a normally yummy smelling place almost sent me over the edge. There was something cooking in there that did not agree with this keen nose of mine. It was awful. We ate there and I was fine, but it definitely got my mind working.
4)My slow moving digestive system - (sorry if this is too much info, it comes with the business of (I hope) pregnancy). I am not constipated... ooh I hate using that word... but I can just tell things aren't normal in that department. I'm going to stop there...
5)Nausea - When I am pregnant my body is very sensitive to water intake. I normally drink a good amount of water so if I don't I kind of feel sick. I have had it two days in a row where I didn't drink enough water and I felt icky. It's not morning sickness... its' too early for that yet, but I feel that I am already needing my water even more than normal. That also leads to more peeing so that symptom could be just from more water.

Those are the main ones for now. I don't know if they sound convincing to you guys, but for me I feel pretty sure that it has worked. It's hard to describe everything, but I really know my body and this is how I have felt in the past... and I was right 2 out of 2 times. I don't want to get any ones hopes up just to have them dashed, but I do want to share. If I'm wrong we can use it as a learning experience and know not to trust a "waiting" body (and mind). :) Lets hope I'm right. I feel very excited, but VERY nervous to find out. There are a lot of peoples emotions resting on the result of this pregnancy test. No pressure though haha.

This will be my last post until after our second blood test. I won't be posting the results of our Christmas day pregnancy test b/c if it is positive (which I think/hope/pray it will be) we want to make sure the hormone levels are going up at the rate they should be and that we have a viable pregnancy. So after January 2nd and after the IP's have shared the good news I will update you all. Even if it's negative I will wait to share... sorry to leave you hanging. Hope you all have a wonderfully great Christmas and New Years.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Middle of the two week wait

There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my head everyday... I can only imagine how it must be for the IP's. One minute I feel so good and confident that this is going to work and then the next minute I'm scared and worried that it might not. It's so hard b/c we saw them in there and if it doesn't work than we would have lost them. I didn't realize how real seeing the transfer would make things feel. At the same time I am so grateful that it does feel this way. Even if it doesn't work the IP's were parents to these precious little embryo's and even if we don't get to meet them they were/are loved.

I had to give my mom the (twenty) pregnancy tests that I had bought online ($0.89 a piece) so that I wouldn't take them. My will power is not strong enough to resist seeing them sitting there and wanting to know sooo bad. I know the waiting will be all worth it when we find out Christmas morning. It will be weird waiting for that test to change. I just remember what it was like when my husband and I were trying to get pregnant. We took the test and while we were waiting we really didn't know if we could be... we were hoping, but what if we didn't get the dates right or what if I didn't ovulate that month or if I was late... there are so many unknowns whereas this way you know that yes IM "ovulated" (in a sense) on this day, fertilization happened this day and the transfer was a success. All we are waiting for now is to see if the implantation and continued growth of the babies was successful. We've been through so many steps so far it feels much more of a possibility. I hope I hope I hope!!!

I am really frustrating myself. Every twinge or cramp I feel I have to stop and think about what it could be. I read that some people get crampy when the embryo implants. I was nauseous the other day and I got so excited until I looked online and even for twins it was too early to feel symptoms. Darn... I was just needing water. Then I jaunted down the hallway and felt a little contraction type motion in what felt like my uterus. Or if I cough or giggle I feel it... it's almost like it's tender, but not painful just kind of irritable. It has kind of been like that ever since the transfer so it's most likely from that. I'm trying not to think about it, but my senses are hyper vigilant right now. I am also taking higher than average amounts of iron, to ward of any signs of anemia that tends to come my way when I'm pregnant, so it is highly likely that that's why my digestive track has taken a hit and is now trying to work it's way back to normal. Basically I just need to chill out, try and not think about it and go on with life as usual... easier said than done, but I've got to try.

I will post the outcome of the pregnancy test we will be taking on Christmas day as soon as the IP's give me the go ahead. I will let them tell their family first of course. They may even want to wait until after our 2nd blood test results arrive on Jan 2nd. before we go public with the info. If it's positive we will be walking on egg shells until we see those beating hearts on the first ultrasound.

Oh yeah... If we are in fact pregnant we are technically 3 weeks and 2 days now!!! The counting starts two weeks before the conception date... some weird pregnancy loophole, but I'll take it!

Monday, December 14, 2009

A few pics...

I wanted to share the pics of the IP's little embryo's that we got. What we are seeing here (the little white dot) is actually little bubbles of air on either side of the embryo's since they are too small to see without a microscope. Still cool nonetheless :) The large black thing ontop is my bladder! wowza!

That moment when the dr. injected the IP's little emby's into my uterus was just amazing! I can't describe it. Everything that we had been working towards and hoping for was finally happening. They are in there!!! They are actually in there!! I imagine them growing and thriving and preparing to meet their very excited parents in 9 months. I know that there is a chance that this won't work, but for now there are two babies in my belly and until I hear otherwise I am going to try and make them the best home possible and pray for them like they are already here.

IM was with me during the transfer and it was SOOO nice to have her there. She stood beside the "bed" and snapped pictures of the procedure on the ultrasound machine. It was so interesting to be able to watch it all happen. There were a couple things that really weirded me out. First was how hugely massive my bladder was. I saw her put the speculum in and then watched and FELT as it pushed against my bladder. It was ridiculously full which I suppose was a good thing, but not very comfortable. There was no hope in me not being able to pee that morning when I got up so then I panicked and downed two bottles of water and a cup of tea two hours before the transfer was scheduled... needless to say I had to empty a tad bit off the top while we were waiting. Another thing that was strange was how she could make my uterus move. If she pushed on my bladder... yay... or cervix you could actually watch my uterus bounce and float in there. It was very strange. At one point she actually poked a little (not painful at all) at my cervix with a q-tip haha. We could see the q-tip and then my uterus sway slowly in response... definitely weird, but cool. :D

It was so neat to bring the pics out to the IF-intended father after (he was in the waiting room). You could just see the excitement in his eyes. Both these parents already love these babies, it is written all over their faces and it's wonderful. We spent the rest of the day chilling at the hotel. IM was having quite a lot of discomfort from her over stimulated ovaries and really needed to take it easy. Her job of retrieving the embryo's was by far the hardest part of this whole process so far.

These last two pics are just pics of me waiting in my oh so sexy grey gown skirt for the transfer to begin and a pic of the wonderful manicure we got done the day before. IM and I went for massages, mani's and pedi's and it was so awesome. Perfect way to relax our nerves in preparation for the big day :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009


The day has finally come!! It's been almost a year since we first started talking about this possibility and now we've done it! This morning at 10:15 (Saturday Dec.12th) we transferred two embryo's on day three. One was rated as a B+ and the other as a B, both at a wonderful 8 cell stage (they like to see between 6 to 8 cells on day three) and looking good. There ended up being 5 healthy embryo's out of the 7 so they now have three frozen for future baby's all of them rating at least a B (one was a B+). There is a huge sense of relief having completed this step in the process. Now all we have to do is sit back, relax and wait. Since Christmas is coming up and the clinic will be closed they really encouraged us to take an at home pregnancy test. My first blood test is Dec. 24th and my second is Dec. 31st. Those will give us the numbers to see how well they are doing, but for now a positive sign would be just such a huge answer to prayers. One or two it doesn't matter as long as they get a healthy little munchkin. The dr's warned us that there is a 1 in 3 chance that the IP's could end up with two and in that case YAY!!

The actual transfer was really quick and painless. It felt similar to getting a pap with the worst part being my excessively full bladder. It was so neat. We got to watch the dr. inject the precious little embryo's into my uterus and we took pictures of the little spot on the ultrasound machine that looked like a very little grain of rice. What we were seeing wasn't actually the embryo it was an air pocket that the embryologist put on each side of the embryo's so that we are able to see where it is. It's so weird to sit here knowing that I have two little gifts in my body ,however it feels perfectly normal to think of them as the IP's little ones... maybe b/c I've had so long to prepare for it.

Now we just relax, wait and pray... easier said than done...
Thanks everyone for all your support. We all feel very positive about this working. Keep praying!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Excellent retrieval!!!

I am just sitting her stunned at how awesome things have been going so far. This retrieval has gone better than I even thought was possible. It has blown our expectations and hopes out of the water. They managed to retrieve 5 eggs vaginally from her right ovary. This in itself is just so awesome b/c a vaginal retrieval wasn't supposed to be an option. Her ovary must have come down sometime in the last couple days. They were also able to retrieve 2 eggs from her left ovary. We had initially been told that this ovary was behind some organs and therefor inaccessible. So we have ended up with 7 eggs!! They are going to go ahead and try to fertilize all of them. We are hoping for at least two healthy strong looking embryo's to do a day three transfer. That would put us at Dec. 12th and we would be finding out on Dec. 29th (hopefully) via a blood sample if the pregnancy was a success. IM and I both agree that we don't want to take any pregnancy tests prior to that blood work at the risk of disappointment. If we get a positive result and it then turns out to be a chemical pregnancy or something along those lines it would be so hard to deal with thinking it worked and then basically having our hopes shattered. We will suck it up and wait the excruciating 17 days to find out... at least that's the plan. If the IP's decide they want me to test I am at their mercy. haha :D

Thankfully for now IM is resting in her hotel room and recovering from the retrieval process. The abdominal retrieval was quite painful, but thankfully they were able to give her some pain meds so that she can rest and heal. Lets hope this is the only time she will have to go through this.

I have started my Prometrium today. I believe this is a synthetic version of the hormone progesterone which we all know is important during pergnancy... although I'm not totally sure what it does. I will have to ask about that. It is ummmm.... interesting... It is taken similar to a Canestan tablet... via a vaginal suppository. I have to take two pills three times a day and sit or lay down for a few minutes after each dose. It's only day one so I haven't had any symptoms yet, but some that I may experience include nausea, bloating, breast tenderness, headache, change in vaginal discharge (sorry if that's too much info), mood swings, blurred vision, dizziness and drowsiness. We'll have to wait and see what happens. From my understanding I am on these tablets until I am 10 weeks pregnant so I better get used to them. So far so good.

I am leaving tomorrow afternoon for Vancouver and will remain there until the transfer is complete. I can't believe that we are finally here! I have been in conversation with this couple for almost a year and it has been wonderful to get to know them. It seems so surreal to think that this may be the beginning of what we have been talking about this whole time. I am so looking forward to going not only to complete the transfer, but also to spend some more time with the IP's. I really enjoy them and they are such fun to be around. It's going to be awesome to share this journey with them. I can't wait!!!

Monday, December 7, 2009


Great news!!! We've got 6 follicles waiting to be retrieved first thing Wednesday morning!! YAY!!! Such a relief after the week of unknowns we've had. She start her HCG injections tonight at a very specific time. She's the first retrieval of the day so we should have little emby baby's growing shortly. Here's hoping they are healthy and ready to start growing in a nice cozy uterus.

So I had to delete what I wrote earlier in this post about only using three eggs... I thought I remember them telling us that, but that is not the case. We are still following our beliefs and morals about life and we will be treating these little embryo's as special, but we are going to use as many eggs as we can get. If there are more than two viable healthy embryo's then we will keep them.

Wow!! YAY!! Can't wait to get all the news and time lines and dates and everything. Looking forward to everything. Man the two week wait after the transfer is going to be deadly haha.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


We got great news this morning at IM's (intending mom) u/s (ultrasound). They found 6 (I think she said 6 or 7) follicles that are almost matured to the right size and should be ready by tomorrow. There are some follicles in her left ovary that are too mature, but not too the point of ovulation. If her u/s goes well tomorrow she should be ready to start her HCG that evening and schedule the retrieval for Wednesday morning(Dec.9th)!!!

I just can't describe the relief I felt when she said those words. I had been hoping and praying that they would get good news, but part of me was preparing to hear that we wouldn't be able to do it this cycle. This puts us at possible transfer between Dec.12th to 15th. One week away!!

This week I felt like this whole thing was teetering on the edge of a cliff... a short cliff... one where we would have fallen to the next ledge, but not all the way to the ground... a cliff none the less. It was very nerve wracking. Then to top it off I lost my estrogen pills!! These are the pills that I must take 3 times a day so loosing them for any amount of time could set me back a dosage. I had given them to my 1 year old to shake (they're child lock). We were in the living room and honestly what could possibly happen. I went to go take my evening dosage and I couldn't find them anywhere. I searched every square inch of my house for 2 hours!!! If I loose these now not only do I miss this dose, but I also miss however many it takes for me to get my prescription faxed over from the Vancouver clinic, filled by the pharmacy (if they have it in stock otherwise it takes two days to order more) and then picked up by me. We were looking at a minimum of 3 missed pills!!! I didn't know what that would do to our cycle, but it didn't sound very good. I couldn't think of anywhere else to look, went to bed and laid there trying not to beat myself up over letting Brie play with them. What was I thinking!! All this would have been avoided if I would have just put them back where they go!!! I was lying there all frustrated and stressed out at myself and thinking to God, "You know where they are!! Please just tell me!!" (I had been praying fervently the whole evenings search). Then I remembered something that my oldest daughter had said that afternoon (she's 3 1/2). I was folding laundry on the living room floor and Kiley runs over and says "Mom Briea's in the garbage" by the time I turned around Brie was walking away playing with something else. At that point I didn't think anything of it. Remembering this I bolted out of bed, slowly started taking out each piece of garbage and that's where I found it. When I saw that lid I almost flopped over with relief. Thank you Lord!!! Disaster averted! Needless to say it took me a little bit to settle my nerves and fall asleep that night. That will NOT happen again! I am super anal about where they are at all times from now on.

Well anyways, keep praying that things go well!! I'm so excited now I could burst :)

Saturday, December 5, 2009


This week has been an emotional roller coaster for all of us involved. The IM (intending mom) has been in Vancouver since December 1st. She had her first ultrasound on the 2nd and we didn't get the best news. The dr. doing the u/s (ultrasound) made it sound like the abdominal retrieval that was necessary for her wasn't for sure going to happen. This was a shock to everyone b/c the very first step that we took in this process was for IM to get an ultrasound to "confirm" that retrieval was possible. We had been told that it wouldn't be a problem although more invasive and difficult than usual. She had her blood taken and her hormone levels came back in the normal range which was good news. Since they weren't able to view her ovaries during that first u/s they scheduled another one for the 4th.

This u/s went much better, but we were told there are still some obstacles to overcome. They found both her ovary's, but since one is hidden behind some organs they can only retrieve from one side. They saw quite a few maturing follicles in each ovary (yay!!). The problem that they came across is that there is one follicle in each ovary that is maturing at a faster rate than the others. If this larger follicle stimulates ovulation than that will mess this cycle up. It doesn't mean the end of everything, we will try again, but it would be very disappointing. The dr. dong this u/s was one of the people who will be doing the retrieval and she assured IM that the abdominal retrieval was possible and that she would do everything she possibly could to make this happen.

So we got some good news and some not super good news. She has her third u/s on the 6th and at that time we should be able to find out if the retrieval will happen this cycle. If everything looks good then she will begin her HCG that day. 36 hours after that they will retrieve the eggs and then 3-5 days after that the transfer will happen. There's still hope so we just need everyone praying that the eggs start maturing on the same timeline. We are all really hoping for a Dec.10th or 12th transfer.