Wednesday, September 30, 2009

HSG experience

I had my Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) today!!! I'm relieved to have it over with and I definately psyched myself out for nothing. I was weird... that's the best way I can describe it.

So I get in there they give me a gown to put on. It's big enough to fit a full grown man which was actually kind of nice since all I could wear underneath were my socks. The nurse then brings me out a nice heated blanket to put on while I wait IN THE WAITING ROOM for them to bring me in. Thankfully there were only nurses hustling about b/c otherwise that would have been quite uncomfortable. So they call me in and the nurse sort of explains what will happen. This procedure is done vaginally, which was one part scary for obvious reasons and one part a relief since I had sort of imagined them using a huge needle to inject the dye through my stomach (obviously not the easiest way). She shows me all the instruments that they will use. They have to wash my cervix and then they use a long thin needle thing that has sort of a metal bulb looking thing at the end. She explains that the dye can cause some cramping and minor irritation to the uterus, but that the part that most women find uncomfortable is when they clamp the needle thing onto the side of my cervix. That sounded not fun to me at all!! She then procedes to tell me my dr's name. This is when I started to feel weird b/c I realized that it's an older man from my church whom I have known since I was a baby. I was kind of wishing for the needle through the stomach idea at that point. Thankfully my fears were put to rest when he came in and he didn't mention anything about knowing me. I was VERY relieved about this. I was not in the state of mind to talk about how my parents were doing and where my brothers were living now.

I was unsure of exactly how much detail I should go into. Should I tell them I'm going to be a surrogate or should I try and give as little information as possible. That question was answered for me pretty quickly when the first thing out of the dr's mouth was "So you've been trying to get pregnant for awhile?" I wasn't prepared to lie and when my answer of "we are going to use IVF" only caused more questions to come my way I quickly realized that obviously I should just say what I'm doing here. Especially since he goes to my church and he will find out eventually. So I spit it out and both were surprised (this is Dawson after all), but very supportive. He asked a few more questions just out of his own curiosity, but after that we got to continue with the procedue. Yay......

They laid me down on this cold metal table with this big half circle ultrasound machine. I was pretty relaxed and "comfortable" for the begining, but once I realized that they would soon be clamping something to my cervix I started to get quite nervous. That's when I heard the great news. The dr. says clamping it won't be necessary today. Woohoo!! Relief flooded through me. Now all I had to worry about was the dye. They turned the ultrasound screen towards me so that I could watch as he slowly injected the dye and it started to float out into my fallopian tubes. I was surprised by how small my uterus and fallopian tubes were compareds to my pelvis. I honestly didn't feel a thing. The dye didn't bother me one bit and it showed that my reproductive organs appeared to be fine with no blockages to be seen. I was relieved to hear that it was over, but overall it was not a "bad" experience. The nurse was so awesome she definately made all the difference.

Hope that was not too graphic for you all ;) Thanks for letting me share.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's booked

Everything has happened as I had hoped. My cycle has started and I am already looking forward to not having to deal with this for 9 months. My HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) is scheduled for September 30th. I'm farely confident that everything will be fine since I have had no problems in the past and my body has handled my pregnancy's fine, however it's always better to be safe than sorry. It would be awful to go through everything, spend all that money only to find out later that there was something wrong within my body that was causing problems. I'm happy to be one step closer.

Today we have our first counsellors appointment. This is mandatory with the clinic we are using which I think is a really smart idea. Basically they want to make sure that I am mentally/emotionally okay to continue in this process. I also think it's very important that our marriage be strong enough to survive or should I say flourish during this time. I know that pregnancy's can be hard on marriages and I'm sure surrogate pregnancy's are a whole different ball game. I feel like we are good to go, but it will be nice to have someone else's opinion. The women we are going to see is also a Christian and I have been told she is just awesome. I'm actually really looking forward to our meeting.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

End of pack one

So today is my last pill (of the pack)!! I'm really excited b/c it means a. I'll get my period and we can find out if my body is going to get back to normal in time for this to happen by December and b. I get to have my hysterosalpingram done in 9 to 11 days which brings us one step closer in the whole process. It feels like we've been at a stall for the past little bit so it will be nice to see some progress.

I'm going to talk about menstration right now ... pre warning for anyone who is uncomfortable with this ;) haha.

I haven't had a period since before I got pregnant. So that makes it about 19 months now. wow!! I'm a little nervous about getting it. Is it going to be super painful or heavy? I don't remember what it was like after I had my first daughter. I know it's inevitable so I'm happy to just get it out of the way so I can quit wondering when and if and how. So here's hoping everything is normal and as it should be.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Starting to adjust

I am hugely relieved to discover that the side effects from my birth control pills are slowly starting to level out. I was really wondering how I was going to handle the next four months of this. I knew that I was defiantely going to find a way, but it wasn't going to be the easiest part of this whole thing. I feel like such a little whiner, seriously it's just the pill!! There are millions of women on it and they don't complain. Honestly though it felt like I was on drugs. I started slowly sleeping better and not having nightmares. I only feel jittery in the mornings, but it feels more like I'm cold and shivering and my mood swings are much more controlable. Pretty much everything has gone back to a somewhat normal level and I am feeling more like myself again. It was a huge relief!!! I was thinking that it might take some time for my system to get used to the hormones, but I never imagined that it would be this quick. I hope that means they are still working.... I guess we'll find out when I'm done my first pack and my cycle is supposed to come ;)

So it's good news. We are heading in the right direction and I'm no longer a little bit crazy :) Thanks for puting up with me!!