Just had to share this.

I have been following a few different surrogate blogs and just recently one of the surrogates delivered the IP's sweet baby girl. They had a photographer in there for the birth and posted the slide show on her blog. I just had to share this with you guys b/c it really hit me with the reality we will be facing in 15 short weeks. I watched it probably 4 times and cried the whole time. It was so beautiful!! What stuck with me the most was what a great welcome party that little girl had coming into this world. In the movie the photographer quoted a verse from the Bible that says " Every good and perfect gift is from above" James 1:17 and that truth just resonated with me. I am so thankful for my children, I don't know what my life would be like without them and getting to be a part of this opportunity for God to bless another family's life is such a honor. I can't thank Ali and Ben enough for trusting me with their precious cargo it's a "job" I don't take lightly. Watching this movie made me that much more excited to share in their special day with them.

Here are the sites for both the photographers website and surrogates blog. Watch it and enjoy!!
http://www.kdloftisphotography.com/blog/2010/05/15/the-greatest-gift-birth
http://asurrodiary.blogspot.com/
(I tried attaching the links, but they weren't working so copy and paste)

25 weeks!! Only 15 to go??!!?!?

How can it be that we only have 15 weeks left!!?!?! The days are becoming warmer and we leave for our first camping trip this weekend. Not only does that mean summer is coming which is just glorious, but also that baby will be born soon. I find myself calling it HE all the time. I think this is my way of not having to call him an it, but also since I have two girls and no boys, it separates the familiarity that much more. Ali and Ben are coming camping with us this weekend and I couldn't be more thrilled. I'm excited to chat about our "birth plan", although it is more of a "baby plan" since most of it will be our preferences for after the baby is born or newly arrived. It will be nice to have some more concrete ideas on what we all want.

I had a dr's apt. today. It went very well. I drank that awful orange drink (last week), which I usually love, but really didn't this time and found out that my blood sugar is perfect. My hemoglobin is a tad on the low side so I'm back on iron supplements every second day. We heard baby's heartbeat and it gave us some nice variables so that is a good sign that 'he' is doing well. My dr advised me that they still consider this a high risk pregnancy soley for the fact that this is an unusual situation and although everything has been going perfectly come 32 weeks they will be monitoring the baby very closely. This is my last 4 week stint in between dr's visits b/c after that it will go down to two weeks in between and then at 36 weeks I'll go in every week. I will have an ultrasound at 32 weeks and then possibly another two after that and then again starting at 32 weeks I will go in for regular NST's (non stress tests) which checks the baby's heart rate and movements and also monitors any contractions. My life is going to get VERY busy in the next few months, but that's really okay b/c it's nice to know that we are all getting taken care of and that there are people on our side who are doing their absolute best to help Ali and Ben welcome their healthy baby into this world. Not to mention we will have a lot of nice pictures for their baby book :) My dr. also mentioned that his estimate for their baby's weight is between 6 and 7lbs which is a nice size and right now the belly is growing perfectly with the dates.

I asked him if IVF babies are known for coming early or right on their dates since conception is not a guessing game. He said no the statistics are similar to a 'regular' pregnancy, but that usually when people use IVF it is b/c of complications getting pregnant which may effect either the embryo itself or the mothers body and ability to carry children so this may point to higher risk more complicated pregnancy's and sometimes preterm babies. In our case there is no way to guess when the baby is coming since there aren't really any of the usual complications. Both 'his' parents are young and healthy and my body has carried two babies to full term already so our chances of making it close to the end or even past are pretty good. I'm still hoping for August 30th (which is my birthday), but as we all know we don't get to chose. :)

Here is another set of pictures of "the belly" at 25 weeks.

24 weeks!

I can't believe we are 24 weeks!!! We only have 16 weeks left!!! How time fly's. Not so sure if it's flying for the baby's parents, but it is for me. I have been feeling great lately. Honestly half the time I forget I'm pregnant and then I'll feel it move or try to hug my husband and oh yeah... right there's a baby in there hahaha. That's a good thing though. Still comfortable and really enjoying it. I can't wait for the IP's to get here. They will be coming camping with us (and my family) if it's warm enough on May long. I think it will be so much fun and I"m really looking forward to it. I hope the baby gives some good kicks for them to feel while they are here. I still have to be laying down to feel the kicks with my hand. Baby is still really low and I'm still carrying closer to my back... hopefully that will change by the time they get here otherwise we may have to catch it when I'm laying on the couch.

One of my good friends just had a baby. It was a girl and she's so precious!! I did notice that there was a definite difference in my feelings from most of my other friends. We are all in the "childbearing" years and most of us have young families and are hoping to have more so it was no surprise when most of the women commented on "wanting another one" when holding that little sweetie. I on the other hand really didn't get that feeling. She's sooo precious, but I can honestly say I SOOOO don't want one. When they aren't mine it's just not the same and this one in my tummy doesn't feel like mine even a little bit. Again I think it's just a healthy confirmation that things are as they should be. Since this is my first surrogacy I guess I really didn't know if my heart strings would be tugging at all (not that I would have given into those feelings). Actually the feelings that surprise me are the ones where I think about meeting this baby 2 or 3 years from now. It actually brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. This will be a special little person to me and my family and Ali and Ben (the parents) will always be in our thoughts and prayers. I will feel connected to them in ways I can't describe and happier than I ever imagined to see them become parents.

(almost) 23 weeks and ultrasound #5

Today I had our 5th ultrasound of the pregnancy. This should be last one if all goes as planned. Everything looked good with the baby from what I gathered... they really don't tell you much. The baby is now measuring 2 days ahead of schedule instead of 1 which was interesting. Maybe they will get their baby early :) That would be welcomed I'm sure. These measurements defiantely don't change our due date since they are so close to being right on and the earlier the ultrasound the more acurate.

Other than that there isn't much new to talk about. I've had some cramping, but it is gone as of today and they checked my cervix with the ultrasound so I'm sure nothing is happening. Just all part of the package this time around.

Here are some updated belly pics now that I finally found my camera.

Ultrasound news

I had an ultrasound last week. We were at 20 weeks. As far as they could tell everything looked good with the baby, but it still wasn't exactly successful. Their little baby would not cooperate. The ultrasound tech. said she hasn't had this hard of a time getting measurements since she was in school. Apparently the baby was completely rolled into a little ball and wouldn't show it's face or head. She got the limbs and body measurements after some maneuvering, but never did see the face and barely got the head circumference. The baby is sitting VERY low in my pelvis still and is head down already (YAY!!) so in order to get the circumference she had to get underneath the head which was pointed down and then tucked into it's own body. To give you an idea of how low he/she was let me just tell you that I kept having to pull my pants down further and further and still she barely got it. She finally managed to get the ultrasound device underneath the head and I felt her push down (carefully) with it and all of a sudden I got this weird full feeling higher up in my abdomen as she pushed the baby up. She held it there, took the measurements and then when she took her hand away down the baby went once again. So unfortunately I have to go back for another ultrasound next week. Hopefully their baby has changed positions and decides to come out and take a peak at us. She said at that time she would put both ultrasound videos onto one dvd which is really nice since the first one really wasn't that exciting. All you could see was back, legs, feet and bum... and no she didn't tell us what the sex was although I know she could tell. She was showing me the feet curled in front and she slid to it's bum and then moved it really quick haha. I think had she left it there I might have gotten an idea of the sex so I'm glad she moved it.

Everyday it sinks in more and more how different this pregnancy feels. Today we took down the crib and set up the toddler bed for my youngest daughter who's now 18 months. It just hit me that normally I would be setting up the crib not taking it down! hahaha It made me smile. All the normal preparatory things you do when your pregnant are for Ben and Ali (IP's) to accomplish and it's just perfect that way. I think it's official now that I look pregnant and I am still struggling with feeling like a poser. I am proud of this belly, but I'm not a proud momma and I can't pretend I am. I'm hoping that I can just get over it, but if those are the strongest feelings I struggle with this pregnancy than I'll take 'em. :)

Next week I see my dr. and go for the 5th and final? ultrasound. I'll post the dvd then. Hope the baby decides to boogie around for you all.

Oh one more thing... baby is still measuring one day larger than our dates. Maybe an August baby after all?? (p.s my birthday is August 30th, two days before the due date... I wouldn't mind sharing with the day with this little one :D)

Ideas anyone??

I have really been thinking a lot about the birth and how we want it to play out. I am SO excited and I know the parents are too (obviously hahaha). The baby's mom and I have been reading other surrogate blogs and there have been some really beautiful birth stories. We both think it's a really good idea to talk about some of these things ahead of time. Not exactly a "birth plan" necessarily, but more so what we would like during and after the baby is born. I think it's good to know each others expectations, needs and wants.

What I would love from my readers... if you don't mind... are some ideas on what would be nice to do during or after the birth to make it a wonderful and enjoyable experience for everyone. I know there are some other surrogates who read this and I would love to hear what your favorite part of your surrogate birth was and/or what you wished you would have/could have done differently. We all want to be flexible, but I think having an idea of how things will go is good. None of the parties involved have ever been apart of a surrogate birth so this is all new to us. New and exciting!!

The actually birthing of the baby seems like the easy part to plan this time. It's pretty straight forward. I'm going to try and avoid the epidural and any other pain meds and go with as little intervention as possible. Of course I hope everything goes as it has in the past, but I know that isn't a guarantee. If we could avoid an induction that would be ideal and pitocin would be worst case scenario for me. Not a fan of that crap unless it is COMPLETELY necessary. They will have to do some hardy convincing to get me to agree. Of course whatever is safest for their baby will be #1 priority. Also hoping to avoid a c-section which would be farely unlikely considering my past, but you never know. The medical aspect seems pretty straight forward it's just figuring out everyone's "roll". I know most of it will just play out naturally and won't need to be "planned" and I totally believe it will be a wonderful experience. I think that everyone involved are very reasonable people and ultimately we all have the same goal.

Sooo all that rambling just to say ideas please. :)

19 weeks!!

WOWZA! Almost half way! I can't even believe it. There was a pretty exciting landmark for their baby this week. It kicked my hand for the first time :D I seriously can't believe how strong it is already. I never felt my kids until well after 20 weeks. Part of me is scared for the months to come thinking about how badly my organs are going to get drummed on, but the other part of me is laughing b/c they are going to have their hands full when this crazy little bean comes out haha. It was joyous to feel that baby, but I did feel a sense of loss that we didn't live closer to them. I wished I could run over to their house and let them feel too. I don't know when we are going to get to see each other next and by then we may be 7 months already and feeling elbows and feet instead of little jabs and twitches. I just have to remember that in 4 short months they will be holding this little one and that really tops everything.

I was reading another surrogates blog (she's carrying twins) and someone commented that it was time for the babies to come out and give those sleepless nights to the parents. hahaha I loved that b/c honestly when I think of "the end" that's one of the highlights for me. Giving birth and then being able to roll over and go to sleep :) I still vividly remember MANY MANY sleepless nights with my youngest daughter and I am so relieved that I get to hand this one off. I'm sure they will be more than willing to get up at night to hold their little angel.

I'm struggling a little bit with strangers being able to tell that I'm pregnant. I kind of feel like a fraud if I just go ahead and let them keep believing that this baby is mine b/c it isn't. It's like holding someones baby and someone walking up to you and saying aww is this your first? I want to say Oh no it isn't mine, but then holy that invites a whole lot of explaining. I really don't mind if people know that I'm a surrogate, but I don't want to seem like I am trying to get attention b/c I truly am not ,no amount of attention would be worth going through a delivery for. I'm going to just have to play it by ear I guess. Sometimes it's not the right time to say no it's not mine, but sometimes it is and no matter how uncomfortable I am with people thinking that "I" am having a baby I guess that's life with a swollen belly. Most people are going to be new mothers at the end of a pregnancy it's usually an accurate assumption and this time there will be a new mother at the end it just won't be me.

So all in all it's been an excellent few weeks. My dr is back and I am looking forward to my next apt. I'm going to start asking him questions about different options for the birth plan (it's never to early to get everyone in the loop). I have had no nausea, no heartburn, no swelling and not a lot of weight gain although I don't actually know since I refuse to look at the scale. I'm feeling really good. The baby is healthy and kicking and excited to meet it's mom and dad and hopefully some Grandparent's in 21 weeks.