Tuesday, April 6, 2010

19 weeks!!

WOWZA! Almost half way! I can't even believe it. There was a pretty exciting landmark for their baby this week. It kicked my hand for the first time :D I seriously can't believe how strong it is already. I never felt my kids until well after 20 weeks. Part of me is scared for the months to come thinking about how badly my organs are going to get drummed on, but the other part of me is laughing b/c they are going to have their hands full when this crazy little bean comes out haha. It was joyous to feel that baby, but I did feel a sense of loss that we didn't live closer to them. I wished I could run over to their house and let them feel too. I don't know when we are going to get to see each other next and by then we may be 7 months already and feeling elbows and feet instead of little jabs and twitches. I just have to remember that in 4 short months they will be holding this little one and that really tops everything.

I was reading another surrogates blog (she's carrying twins) and someone commented that it was time for the babies to come out and give those sleepless nights to the parents. hahaha I loved that b/c honestly when I think of "the end" that's one of the highlights for me. Giving birth and then being able to roll over and go to sleep :) I still vividly remember MANY MANY sleepless nights with my youngest daughter and I am so relieved that I get to hand this one off. I'm sure they will be more than willing to get up at night to hold their little angel.

I'm struggling a little bit with strangers being able to tell that I'm pregnant. I kind of feel like a fraud if I just go ahead and let them keep believing that this baby is mine b/c it isn't. It's like holding someones baby and someone walking up to you and saying aww is this your first? I want to say Oh no it isn't mine, but then holy that invites a whole lot of explaining. I really don't mind if people know that I'm a surrogate, but I don't want to seem like I am trying to get attention b/c I truly am not ,no amount of attention would be worth going through a delivery for. I'm going to just have to play it by ear I guess. Sometimes it's not the right time to say no it's not mine, but sometimes it is and no matter how uncomfortable I am with people thinking that "I" am having a baby I guess that's life with a swollen belly. Most people are going to be new mothers at the end of a pregnancy it's usually an accurate assumption and this time there will be a new mother at the end it just won't be me.

So all in all it's been an excellent few weeks. My dr is back and I am looking forward to my next apt. I'm going to start asking him questions about different options for the birth plan (it's never to early to get everyone in the loop). I have had no nausea, no heartburn, no swelling and not a lot of weight gain although I don't actually know since I refuse to look at the scale. I'm feeling really good. The baby is healthy and kicking and excited to meet it's mom and dad and hopefully some Grandparent's in 21 weeks.

1 comment:

  1. I don't see a problem answering their "is this your first?" question with "Actually, I'm a surrogate, and I'm very proud of it" or "this is my first surrogate pregnancy" or something like that. I don't tend to comment to pregnant women ever (mainly because of the horror stories I've heard about rude comments) but I'd say that'd be a perfectly acceptable answer! Good for you!