Tuesday, May 25, 2010

26 weeks

We are officially beginning the viability stages. Baby now has a small chance of surviving outside the womb, not that we want it out quite yet. It is welcome to stay in there for another 14 weeks.

We had the best visit with Ali and Ben. They came up to go camping with us, but since we got over a foot of snow we kiboshed that idea and just hung out at home. The first day did feel somewhat like camping since our power went out for two nights and one full day and for us that means no water, no power, no heat (except for our wood stove which we are so thankful for) and no water means no toilet and no power means no cooking. Thankfully my parents fed us that night. The snow has now melted and we can have our warm weather back. I love Northern BC, but if you could strangle a province I might have tried this weekend.

One of the things we got to discuss this weekend was our birth plan. I'm so relieved to have that finally set out for us. There was a little bit of stress for me trying to plan it out and somehow try to predict how we might all be feeling and what we might want and that's just not possible since none of us have ever been here before. I think we are all happy with the plan we have come up with and knowing that we are all flexible easy going people helps. This is a birth plan and like any plan in life it can change.

I was really feeling guilty about how much participation Ben was going to have. I was struggling with the fact that this is his baby, but obviously not his wife so where do we go from there. We decided that there would be more of an "open door" policy during labour. Ben and his and Ali's moms (if they can make it) are welcome to come and get updates (obviously depending on how things are going) sit and chat if we are all feeling up for it, but during the actual delivery the only people who will be in the room is Ali (baby's mom), Andrew (my husband, my rock) and my mom (who is a maternity nurse and my coach during my delivery's). Ali would cut the cord and then be the first to hold it once baby is ready and then she can take the baby out to meet his/her very excited father and Grandma's. Once I'm done getting stitched up (hopefully that won't be necessary) and delivering the placenta then they can all come in and we can oooh and awww over the baby together and I will get a chance to hold him/her. I think this is a lovely compromise and one we can all live with. When we are all finished meeting the baby for the first time then Ben and Ali will go have some private time with their baby and I will go have the most wonderful shower of my life. :)

Figuring out the details of after the birth and while we are in the hospital was a little trickier since a lot of that will depend on a. how long I'm in there for and b. if there is enough space for Ben and Ali and baby to have their own room. September is supposed to be a busy month so lets hope we beat the rush and have this baby in August. We want to all be very open to discussing how we feel and be honest about what we need. We all have the same goal and that is making this a great experience for everyone involved so I feel that it will work out just fine. For me my main goal is to help Ben and Ali enjoy their first few days as parents. It's a unique situation to have someone else involved and I want to help make it feel like it's all theirs. I have had my moments with my babies, holding them and getting to know them, studying their faces for the first time and I want them to have that same opportunity. My most special moment with my girls was after everyone else left me and I was truly alone with them for the first time. Babies are so alert the first couple hours after birth and we just sat there staring at each other. I couldn't help but cry with all the love that I felt for that little person. I can remember it like it was yesterday and it still brings tears to my eyes.

Ali and Ben are kind enough to give Andrew and I a chance to be alone with the baby before they leave and say goodbye. I know we will be seeing this little one again, but it will be nice to have that moment since we will have been on quite a journey together. I am actually hoping for a nighttime delivery so that I can leave the next afternoon. I'm not a fan of trying to sleep in hospitals and since the hospital will want to keep the baby for at least 24 hours if I can leave early Ben and Ali will get to be on their own with their baby there.

I'm really excited for them! Just imagining them finally getting to take their baby home makes me smile. I remember the drive home and the first day as parents on our own and there was a sense of everything being right in the world. I don't think I ever felt more at peace. I hope Ben and Ali get to experience that to the fullest and that they can look back on this whole experience fondly.


  1. As long as everyone involved knows that the birth plan is fluid and can be changed in a moment's notice, it will all be fine. Birthing is crazy business, and you never know what might transpire. Hopefully it goes smoothly!

    When I had my second daughter, I was discharged from the hospital 2 hours post delivery, but THE BABY was still a patient overnight. Ergo, I had to sleep there, despite the fact that I wasn't actually the patient. I wonder if your hospital would possibly be willing to do that for Ben and Ali if you're feeling up to going home?

  2. Oh yes, we defiantely are all flexible with things, but really we haven't planned "the birth" so much as afterwards so if baby needs to be in the incubator or has some problems after that would kind of be our main curve ball, but everything looks great so far with him/her.

    I can't believe they let you out so soon! That's crazy!! Our hospital is smaller and they tend to keep people longer than city hospitals. They will give Ali and Ben a room of their own with the baby if they have one (it's supposed to be busy so we are hoping, but not planning for that) and I would assume that the room would stay open for them even after I left. I will have to ask my mom about that one.

  3. They let me out because I had midwives and should have been a home birth but I chickened out! If I were ever to have a third, I'd shoot for a home birth. Again, the city has so many different protocols an options than a small town does. As long as you and baby are healthy and happy, that's all that matters in the end. : )

  4. I have a friend who just opened up a midwifery clinic there (Grove Midwifery Care). I would LOVE to use a midwife if I could, but small town means no midwives. Closest one is 5 hours away. Yes I totally agree. It's all about the baby and I have had two other happy, enjoyable births in hospitals with dr's before so I'm sure this one will go just fine.