34 weeks!

Sorry I have been slacking on the blogging front. It's summer and we just got back from a week long family holiday so I guess I have a good excuse. I'm actually a little annoyed at myself for not writing last week b/c now I have to catch up.

At week 33 we had a dr's apt. Everything is looking wonderful. Baby looks happy, but small... a healthy small. My dr estimates somewhere between 6 and 7lbs. My mom (the maternity nurse who works with my dr.) laughs b/c he is ALWAYS giving estimates. He'll guess on baby size, on the estimated date of arrival and even the labour and delivery length once it's started, but the nice thing about him is that he is right more often than he's wrong. He is guessing that the baby will be somewhere around 3 days late and I am committed to proving him wrong in any way I can haha. I have never delivered a baby late and it would be nice not to start now. So we'll have to wait and see. Some other great news that we got was that baby is head down!! At our previous apt. the baby was transverse to breach and so for the last 4 weeks I had been thinking I had a round little baby head sticking into my right rib, but as it turns out it was a hard little baby bum instead! Such great news since a c-section would be less than ideal and attempting a breach delivery is just too too dangerous for the baby and not something I'm willing to try. My blood pressure is cooperating as well at a nice and low 96/64. I always have low blood pressure so this is very normal for where I am usually at. I am starting to swell, but that's understood at this stage of the summer and pregnancy. Basically all our fears were put to rest at that apt. Not breach, not a big baby and seemingly very healthy on all fronts. I have an ultrasound and a visit with the OB coming up in the next couple weeks just to double check, but he says that is a formality and probably not necessary since everything is looking very low risk. All those included are relieved and I'm happy b/c I get my summer and there won't be any need to be attending the 3 apt's a week like we had initially thought.

The baby's parents just went through a massive move from one end of one province to the edge of the next one over. This unfortunately doesn't bring us any closer (distance wise) but luckily for us we happened to be holidaying only an hour from their new home! We got to go and see their new house and neighbourhood and I had a blast seeing all the things Ali has ready for the baby. It was so much fun!! I had really been feeling disconnected in the last couple weeks mainly b/c of the move and the difficulty in communicating when there is a major transition like that. I was starting to focus more and more inwardly and less on what we were really doing here and why. It makes a world of difference to be able to communicate again and that visit just really brightened the next few weeks for me. I am really excited to have them come up and await the birth of their baby together. I haven't felt any sadness in thinking about the upcoming delivery. I feel like I am ready to see the end, not necessarily b/c the end of pregnancy has it's own challenges, but mainly b/c I know they are SO excited and I can't wait to share that with them. It feels like the end of this journey and what we have all been working towards has been a long time coming and I am so excited to see this through. I feel like the timing couldn't be better. We have 6 weeks left and I'm ready to watch the weeks fly by as they have been doing so far... at least for me (most of the time). :)

So all in all things are really going great. I am still super hormonal and I my husband is looking forward to not having to deal with that pretty soon, but other than that I don't think we could have asked for a better journey than the one we have gotten so far.

I will post a belly pic later today.

32 weeks!

I can't believe that we only have 8 weeks left!! We can say that we are now 8 months pregnant and that just sounds insane! haha :) How did we get here.

Everything has been going pretty well so far. I have still managed to avoid starting the NST's, ultrasounds and frequent dr's visits, but I think that will all change as of next week. As far as I can tell the baby is pretty much consistently in the breach position now (although yesterday (s)he reverted back to the tranverse position for the afternoon). This is most of the time really comfortable, but every once in awhile the baby floats high enough to have it's head sit underneath my right rib and rib and baby contact isn't ever an awesome thing. If I had to guess I would say that the baby is probably in the complete breach position with the knees bent and the legs pointed down. I say this b/c I feel the majority of kicks down in my pelvis, but they are mostly fluttering and only if I lay on my side (giving him/her a little more room) are the kicks strong enough to hurt. My youngest daughter was breach until 33 1/2 weeks so I'm not worried. This baby still has lots of time to turn. Fingers crossed :)

My hormones are going insane. They are by far stronger than I have had in my previous pregnancy's. Not sure if this is b/c we started this process using hormone supplements and thus triggering my body to stay at a higher level or if it's just b/c every pregnancy is different, but either way I am feeling them. I have never been a crazy pregnant woman before so this is all new territory for me haha. Recognizing that my feelings can not be trusted has really helped in my day to day management of them, but it doesn't really help those feelings go away. I find myself irritable and weepy over the most ridiculous things. Thankfully I have more days of normal me than I do of crazy me and our summer is booking up fast so I'm sure the last 8 weeks will just fly by. I'm realizing that summer is a great time to be pregnant. Yes it's hot, but there is so much to do and so little time to dwell on the time that's ticking by. I'm hoping that before we all know it Ali and Ben will have their baby in their arms :)

Baby moving!

I have been trying to get a video of the baby moving for SOO long and today I think I finally got a good enough one to post. Look to the direct right of my belly button and you'll see part of the baby kind of pop out. :)


Sorry for the noisey background. I was just laying there watching tv when it started to move and all I could think is GRAB THE CAMERA! haha

Hormones do funny things.

After my last post, which turned out to be a really long rendition of how emotionally unstable I was that week, I discovered something. My hormones have changed!! I should have seen it! I feel like I am pretty intune with my body, but hindsight is 50/50 right. The tears, the body image issues, the hot flashes (which I thought was the hot summer getting to me), the complete lack of control over my emotions, the nausea (which felt like morning sickness starting all over again and I forgot to include in my last post) all add up now. I should have seen it and thanks to my doula I am now on the same page as my body. It honestly felt like I was on birth control and now that my body has adjusted I can look back and see the changes that I was going through. I am less of a bear (which I'm sure my family is thankful for), the nausea is gone, I was cold today(!!!), I am totally and completely fine being pregnant again and my hips have started to hurt. The hip ache is actually what convinced me. My body is starting to get ready to give birth. I'm not sure what hormones changed, but my bet is that amongst the other female hormones flowing through my body, the relaxin has definately increased. When I lay or sit for too long it takes a bit to get up and get those hips moving. I was wondering when this was going to begin.

This is such welcome news! I feel like myself again and I can go back to looking at life through rose coloured glasses. If there is one thing that this pregnancy has taught me it is that hormones control EVERYTHING! And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING!! From appetite, to sleep cycles, to emotions to body temp. It's ridiculous haha. So the next time I start sounding like a lunatic on here please someone remind me that I am a complete utter mess of hormones and I should probably just go have a nap.

30 weeks!

I know I have said it again and again so I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record. I really want this blog to be real. I don't want to sugar coat my feelings b/c I'm worried about who might read it. There is never any question in my mind that I am more than glad about where we all are right now, but I do have my days and in this instance, my week of struggles. For some reason week 29 was a difficult one and I am quite relieved that we have reached week 30 and I don't have to relive it ever again. I don't know what set me off, but it pushed me over the edge and I had sort of a mini meltdown. I'm not a crier in the least so to push me to the point of tears is not something that happens often.

I think there were probably a few things that just seemed to pile up all at once. I started to feel uncomfortable in this pregnancy for the first time and although I knew it was coming I guess I still wasn't prepared when it did. It was so hot and it was making my feet and hands start to swell. I couldn't help but feel discouraged that this is what my summer was going to be like. I LOVE summer and I was bummed that I wasn't going to enjoy it this year and that I would be wishing it away, especially since we get so few summer months here in Northern BC. Then there was the growing belly and the baby's position. I have carried a child every which way before, but never transverse and this is a whole nother ball game. It actually defy's logic. Why would a baby chose to lay along the smallest possible area in there when there is so much more room if "she" would just stretch out lengthwise with my body. There was baby where I didn't even know baby could be. Is there even uterus that far towards my sides??? Apparently there is b/c I'm feeling a head. I was just feeling very very full of baby. Every once in awhile "his" head will float into a breach position and it gives me a little reprieve and surprisingly it always happens when I am driving... not sure why. I feel like this baby is trying to bust out my sides. I guess "she" is very anxious to be home with "her" parents, but hopefully "he" decides to a. not bust out of anything and b. stay in there a little while longer.

I have also been having a difficult time accepting that I am "loosing" my body to pregnancy. I haven't been as attached to this pregnancy for obvious reasons and so I have found that I have been really holding onto what part is still me. Looking at my body right now what I see is all the work that I have ahead of me to get myself back to where I want to be. It's not just the belly that grows, it's the love handles, the thighs, the butt, the arms, the face... basically anything that can grow will grow. I can try to ignore it right now, but that doesn't take it away. This is normal for me in pregnancy and I expected it, but I guess I didn't quite realize how much harder it would be to except this time. I am not a "momma to be" I am still just Brandi. It's very different. I have ordered a colourful hospital gown to wear while I am in labour and for a lot of people that seemed like a waste of money, but for me it kind of symbolized how I feel. This will be me as a women in labour not a mother. And when this baby no longer inhabits my body I will still just be me. I won't have a life altering position to play for this child. I will be going back to life as usual and unfortunately I will be bringing my over sized body and jelly belly with me. I'm well within the boundaries of healthy weight gain during this pregnancy, but it's still weight gain and it still changes how I look.

All of those things just seemed to pile on top of me at once and I was feeling like this last 10 weeks was going to last FOREVER. I was ready to be done and I knew that I wouldn't be for another 2 1/2 months. I wanted to jump into my skinny jeans or put on a cute summer dress and go to the beach. I wanted to feel like me again.

Laying there in bed I finally succumbed to these feelings that had been plaguing me all week and I had a good cry. My poor husband didn't know what to do with me, but thankfully he just hugged me and reminded me of how beautiful he thinks I am and reminded me of all the fun things we are going to do this summer that will make time just whiz by. I was not wishing away the pregnancy, but wishing away the time and he reminded me that these next few weeks are going to be awesome and that I really didn't want to do that.

I woke up the next morning feeling SOOO much better. Yes the baby is still transverse, but I have decided to enjoy feeling that little head poking out my side instead of groan and I am just going to dip my feet in cool water (or my whole body if need be) when I'm too warm or extra swollen. I'm going to get lots of foot rubs from my hubby and just enjoy knowing that I don't have to do anything to fix my body right now. I will get back to my normal self. I've done it two other times. I am eating healthy and doing everything I can right now to make my job easier when I'm done and that's all I can do. I can't obsess about what I look like right now. I need to be thankful that God has decided to allow us to grow this precious life and remember that this really isn't about me. Yes I have thoughts and feelings and they are important, but there is a bigger picture and I can't forget that. I feel much much better about things. I am back to my usual self and I am enjoying this heat (and the breeze haha) and this journey. It was just a little bump in the road. I never even for a second regretted this decision. I never will! But I did for a few days wish that it didn't take so long. I know growing human beings (optimally) takes 9 months and that's what we all signed up for and once again I am excited that we are officially at 30 weeks and wow what a great point to reach. :) 30 weeks is a blessing beyond words. There are people who don't make it to this stage and it's so scary and can be so devastating. I'm so greatful that neither us nor Ali and Ben have to face that reality. I am thankful for where we are :)

29 weeks!

We are almost to the 30 week landmark!! 30 weeks is when we can (pretty much) start counting down in single digits. It's also when things most likely begin to get uncomfortable, but that just means baby is getting bigger and preparing for his/her arrival.

I had a dream about their baby last night. I remember it perfectly. It was a boy, dark hair, really small, but he was wearing overalls and a green shirt... not sure where that outfit came from. I've never seen a baby come into the world fully clothed before haha. I also got told that our due date was pushed to September 28th instead of September 1st which makes me really question the validity of this dream haha. This is coming from the women who dreamt that my oldest daughter was an Eskimo boy and I kept forgetting her everywhere around town. It was quite inaccurate considering I had a little blond hair, blue eyed baby girl.

So we had a dr's apt. yesterday and everything looks absolutely wonderful with their baby. The baby is laying transverse across my belly which I didn't realize, but now that I know of course I'm feeling like my sides are busting out. I'm thinking it's all in my head and am trying to ignore it. "He" is more head down than head up so hopefully "she" just steadily moves head down more and more as the weeks progress. It's still early so we aren't worried about baby's positioning quite yet. The transverse position has however made me measure at about 24 weeks gestation instead of the 29 that we are. This is nothing to be alarmed about. He isn't worried, it's normal. I'm sure the fundal height will balance out once "he" is head down and if it doesn't that's actually farely normal for me. I measured 4 weeks too small for my dates with my last pregnancy and she was exactly the same size as her sister who measured normally. Fundal height isn't very accurate.

We got good variability with the heartbeat again this time. It was an average of about 152 beats per minute which is a good healthy number and the dr. even felt some nice strong movements from "her". Since everything is going so well he has decided to postpone the onslaught of NST's, ultrasounds and dr's apt's. He will see how the next 4 weeks go and then decide what course of action to take. I haven't had any more cramping and the braxton hicks are very irregular. I can go a day without getting a single one so it looks like my uterus is pretty inactive which is nice to see. So all in all a great apt and one the parents can be happy with. :)

Early bird braxton hicks and 28 weeks

Oh the braxton hicks! They're back! I feel like I have to share at least a portion of my last experience with these suckers for people to understand why I am somewhat dreading their return.
I never had any with my first pregnancy, or at least none that I could tell. The close personal relationship with these things came with my second pregnancy. I started getting them at about 34 weeks. They started infrequently and not very regular, but by 36 weeks they had started to come every second day, 5 minutes apart like clock work. I know 36 weeks is too early to have a baby, but it's not unheard of so I was a little worried that this was a sign that I was starting to get ready for the delivery, especially since with my first birth my body didn't mess around. When I had uterine activity it was b/c I was in labour. After about a week of sitting there timing "contractions" day after day I asked (begged) my dr. to do a cervical check. Thankfully he reported that no there was no change in my cervix, but did request weekly NST's (non stress tests) at the hospital from that point on. He wanted to make sure baby was still happy in there with all the activity going on. The news that no I wasn't delivering this child yet allowed me to go another couple weeks not focusing on these annoying, but useless contractions and just live my life. Ignoring them was easier said then done since they were still coming every 5 minutes apart 12 hours at a time and would take my breath away with every one. Finally at about 38 1/2 weeks I thought for sure I was in labour. The braxton hicks were getting stronger and they were so frequent that I figured they HAD to be doing something. My mom works in maternity so that evening when she was working I slipped into the hospital to get her to check everything out. They started out with the NST and based on the contractions it looked like I was in the early stages of labour. There was a lot of activity, but after getting her co-worker to check my cervix they gave me the news that not only was I not softened, dilated or effaced, but they couldn't even reach my cervix yet! It was still posterior!! I couldn't believe it!! I only had 1 1/2 weeks until my due date and although I was still enjoying being pregnant, sleeping well, completely comfortable, I was just flabbergasted that nothing was happening! To make a long story short I continued to have these braxton hicks until the day my dr. stripped my membranes. I was barely even one cm. dilated at that point, but at least my body was getting something done. That membrane strip put an end to the braxton hicks for a whole day and at 7pm I got my first real contraction of the pregnancy. I went into the hospital at about 12:30am and delivered my 2nd baby girl at 3:25am (3 days early!). I have to say it was a beautiful labour and delivery. I remember it with such fondness and I honestly can't wait to do it again.

I felt like those braxton hicks had pestered me on a daily basis. They were a constant reminder that I was close to my due date and that it could happen any day and I literally sat on the edge of my birthing ball for the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy wondering when it would be. (I had swapped out my computer chair for my birthing ball to help open my pelvis and hopefully get my cervix ripening)

Thankfully I haven't had them anywhere near as regular yet, but this is by far the earliest they have ever started. The good thing that I can tell you is that at least we know these contractions do ABSOLUTELY nothing to my cervix. This is in no way a sign that this baby is going to come early. I hope that I have learned a few things about my body and that I won't be such a sucker this time around. I really never thought I would know the difference between false and real labour, but when I had that first real contraction I knew without a doubt. Here are some of the things I have learned about my braxton hicks.
1) Real contractions start out slower (10, 15, 20 mins or more apart) and get closer together. My braxton hicks start out close together (5 mins apart), but don't get more frequent. I never had one closer than 3 minutes apart.
2) My braxton hicks DO get stronger. I would put the ones I'm getting now on a strength scale of 2, but they did get up to a 10 with pregnancy #2. The main difference is that real contractions hurt. Even the first one I had caused a small amount of pain. My braxton hicks tighten, but they don't ever hurt. It's not like cramping for me at all. Labour however, can start out like cramping.
3) Braxton hicks (for me) feel like a sneeze that I never quite get out. It wraps around my belly and makes it hard as a rock, but just when I'm waiting for it to peak and maybe hurt it starts receding instead. I also feel like the baby is pushing out with it's whole body so it's not the pushing down sensation that comes with labour. My real contractions start in my hips and/or back and wrap around my whole belly and then no matter what stage of labour they will reach a peak and recede. Both contractions feel like waves rushing through my body, but the braxton hicks never reach my back or hips.
4) Lastly braxton hicks can usually be stopped or slowed down based on what sort of activity you are doing. Mine would almost completely go away if I had a bath or laid down whereas when real labour is here you can slow down the contractions, but no matter what you do that baby is coming and as long as baby is in the right position and things are happening properly you can only slow it down for so long. The braxton hicks I'm getting now stop when I walk around. Sitting is what brings them on... so that's a little different than last time.

I think that's the end of my rant on braxton hicks. I'm kind of sick of typing those two words as I'm sure you are of reading them. I was mainly trying to remind myself that yes I do know the difference between real and false labour, these are not doing anything and I should ignore them. They are easy to ignore right now, but I'm expecting in the weeks to come they will get stronger and more frequent. I am going to have to have a mantra to myself saying "ignore them, they aren't doing anything, do not time them Brandi!" I tend to have a bit of OCD and like to have things organized and on paper, but I will not time them!! haha :)

Here are some updated pics on the growing belly.





Oh side note: I just visited my friend and her brand new tiny 5lbs 12oz baby girl. Looking at the baby I couldn't imagine how she fit in her momma's belly. She was SO tiny and yet it still looked incomprehensible to me. My children weren't even that small! God really is the ultimate designer. The whole process really blows my mind!