Sunday, April 18, 2010

Ultrasound news

I had an ultrasound last week. We were at 20 weeks. As far as they could tell everything looked good with the baby, but it still wasn't exactly successful. Their little baby would not cooperate. The ultrasound tech. said she hasn't had this hard of a time getting measurements since she was in school. Apparently the baby was completely rolled into a little ball and wouldn't show it's face or head. She got the limbs and body measurements after some maneuvering, but never did see the face and barely got the head circumference. The baby is sitting VERY low in my pelvis still and is head down already (YAY!!) so in order to get the circumference she had to get underneath the head which was pointed down and then tucked into it's own body. To give you an idea of how low he/she was let me just tell you that I kept having to pull my pants down further and further and still she barely got it. She finally managed to get the ultrasound device underneath the head and I felt her push down (carefully) with it and all of a sudden I got this weird full feeling higher up in my abdomen as she pushed the baby up. She held it there, took the measurements and then when she took her hand away down the baby went once again. So unfortunately I have to go back for another ultrasound next week. Hopefully their baby has changed positions and decides to come out and take a peak at us. She said at that time she would put both ultrasound videos onto one dvd which is really nice since the first one really wasn't that exciting. All you could see was back, legs, feet and bum... and no she didn't tell us what the sex was although I know she could tell. She was showing me the feet curled in front and she slid to it's bum and then moved it really quick haha. I think had she left it there I might have gotten an idea of the sex so I'm glad she moved it.

Everyday it sinks in more and more how different this pregnancy feels. Today we took down the crib and set up the toddler bed for my youngest daughter who's now 18 months. It just hit me that normally I would be setting up the crib not taking it down! hahaha It made me smile. All the normal preparatory things you do when your pregnant are for Ben and Ali (IP's) to accomplish and it's just perfect that way. I think it's official now that I look pregnant and I am still struggling with feeling like a poser. I am proud of this belly, but I'm not a proud momma and I can't pretend I am. I'm hoping that I can just get over it, but if those are the strongest feelings I struggle with this pregnancy than I'll take 'em. :)

Next week I see my dr. and go for the 5th and final? ultrasound. I'll post the dvd then. Hope the baby decides to boogie around for you all.

Oh one more thing... baby is still measuring one day larger than our dates. Maybe an August baby after all?? (p.s my birthday is August 30th, two days before the due date... I wouldn't mind sharing with the day with this little one :D)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Ideas anyone??

I have really been thinking a lot about the birth and how we want it to play out. I am SO excited and I know the parents are too (obviously hahaha). The baby's mom and I have been reading other surrogate blogs and there have been some really beautiful birth stories. We both think it's a really good idea to talk about some of these things ahead of time. Not exactly a "birth plan" necessarily, but more so what we would like during and after the baby is born. I think it's good to know each others expectations, needs and wants.

What I would love from my readers... if you don't mind... are some ideas on what would be nice to do during or after the birth to make it a wonderful and enjoyable experience for everyone. I know there are some other surrogates who read this and I would love to hear what your favorite part of your surrogate birth was and/or what you wished you would have/could have done differently. We all want to be flexible, but I think having an idea of how things will go is good. None of the parties involved have ever been apart of a surrogate birth so this is all new to us. New and exciting!!

The actually birthing of the baby seems like the easy part to plan this time. It's pretty straight forward. I'm going to try and avoid the epidural and any other pain meds and go with as little intervention as possible. Of course I hope everything goes as it has in the past, but I know that isn't a guarantee. If we could avoid an induction that would be ideal and pitocin would be worst case scenario for me. Not a fan of that crap unless it is COMPLETELY necessary. They will have to do some hardy convincing to get me to agree. Of course whatever is safest for their baby will be #1 priority. Also hoping to avoid a c-section which would be farely unlikely considering my past, but you never know. The medical aspect seems pretty straight forward it's just figuring out everyone's "roll". I know most of it will just play out naturally and won't need to be "planned" and I totally believe it will be a wonderful experience. I think that everyone involved are very reasonable people and ultimately we all have the same goal.

Sooo all that rambling just to say ideas please. :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

19 weeks!!

WOWZA! Almost half way! I can't even believe it. There was a pretty exciting landmark for their baby this week. It kicked my hand for the first time :D I seriously can't believe how strong it is already. I never felt my kids until well after 20 weeks. Part of me is scared for the months to come thinking about how badly my organs are going to get drummed on, but the other part of me is laughing b/c they are going to have their hands full when this crazy little bean comes out haha. It was joyous to feel that baby, but I did feel a sense of loss that we didn't live closer to them. I wished I could run over to their house and let them feel too. I don't know when we are going to get to see each other next and by then we may be 7 months already and feeling elbows and feet instead of little jabs and twitches. I just have to remember that in 4 short months they will be holding this little one and that really tops everything.

I was reading another surrogates blog (she's carrying twins) and someone commented that it was time for the babies to come out and give those sleepless nights to the parents. hahaha I loved that b/c honestly when I think of "the end" that's one of the highlights for me. Giving birth and then being able to roll over and go to sleep :) I still vividly remember MANY MANY sleepless nights with my youngest daughter and I am so relieved that I get to hand this one off. I'm sure they will be more than willing to get up at night to hold their little angel.

I'm struggling a little bit with strangers being able to tell that I'm pregnant. I kind of feel like a fraud if I just go ahead and let them keep believing that this baby is mine b/c it isn't. It's like holding someones baby and someone walking up to you and saying aww is this your first? I want to say Oh no it isn't mine, but then holy that invites a whole lot of explaining. I really don't mind if people know that I'm a surrogate, but I don't want to seem like I am trying to get attention b/c I truly am not ,no amount of attention would be worth going through a delivery for. I'm going to just have to play it by ear I guess. Sometimes it's not the right time to say no it's not mine, but sometimes it is and no matter how uncomfortable I am with people thinking that "I" am having a baby I guess that's life with a swollen belly. Most people are going to be new mothers at the end of a pregnancy it's usually an accurate assumption and this time there will be a new mother at the end it just won't be me.

So all in all it's been an excellent few weeks. My dr is back and I am looking forward to my next apt. I'm going to start asking him questions about different options for the birth plan (it's never to early to get everyone in the loop). I have had no nausea, no heartburn, no swelling and not a lot of weight gain although I don't actually know since I refuse to look at the scale. I'm feeling really good. The baby is healthy and kicking and excited to meet it's mom and dad and hopefully some Grandparent's in 21 weeks.